I know its stupid and cliche to write a journal entry about whats going on in my life, but i dunno. Everything just seems so surreal now, that everything is fake and its going to be as it was back 6 months ago where everything was just a black pit and i didn't care about anything. not my school, not my family, not my friends, not myself; a black void that just told me something was wrong. to this day i still can't place what it was that was wrong but it was something, and whatever it is still looms over me like a heavy shadow. for the past 3 months its seemed to go away but now.... it seems everything right now is fake. Maybe i just can't grasp the facts my friends still want to talk to me? or that my family life is alright now? or the fact i can still manage contact with my boyfriend on a blue moon? ...if he's still here...

I just feel like that is all going to end, this isn't real, that i'm just slowly driving myself crazy with worry and paranoia and fear. That one slip will drive me down that black pit again.  

Ahhhh.... sorry for rambling on like that, honestly I have no idea whats going on anymore. Aside from school being it's usual bitch, its been okay. Sadly it's been driving into my art time and I'm hoping soon i can be free enough to just work on my audition for Idris.

If it wasn't for school i would've been done by now but alas, what can ya do? i just hope Mette doesn't get mad for my lack of speed. I really do want to do Idris, i'm excited for it. school just likes being in everyone's business and make people do what it wants. Ink back during the summer kept me somewhat alive during those dark months long ago and certain people in it as well. I think that is why i keep it so special to me...

once again i'm sorry for going on like this.. I just needed some place to speak even though i doubt anyone reads my journal.. its probably for the better.

good night everyone.

-------------------------------------------------------
Tumblr is here: [link]
-------------------------------------------------------
My Fav Artists ever on DA, must be raided:
1. Endling
2. Unknown-person
3.
4. Phobs
5. BleedMan
--------------------------------------
Moo!